The eve of the ides of February has once more rolled around (why isn’t that a saying it’s much cooler than “February 14th”) and with it has come all the nonsensical pink and red gaudy decor and the incessant romantic love songs. This aromantic cannot be bothered to deal with any of that bullshit, and so has been wilfully and peacefully living in his lil romance-repulsed bubble, until xe came across the Google Doodle at 2 o’clock in the morning. Why romanticize the periodic table??? I do not understand.
If you are also looking to ignore the bullshit, here is my anti-valentine’s playlist to protect your senses from the ever-thirsty “will you be mine?” messages that will be thrown at you all day long. If you’ve interacted with me you’ve probably heard me talk about why I see some of these songs as aromantic coded (looking at you, Japanese Denim by Daniel Caesar) but there are a couple of heartbreak and fuck nigga songs for the allos (or anyone) with broken hearts and feeling resentful this time around. May you find your happiness somewhere.
All the songs are Black because I am Black.
my anti-valentines playlist: short annotated playlist bibilography
- Hoe Phase by MikexAngel and Lily Massie
Playlist starts off strong with a fuck nigga song. To be in your Hoe Phase is to not be available for romantic “entanglements” as Jada Pinkett Smith would say. We are not here to be Boo’d up like Ella Mai. Fuck around and know that there are no attachments - Evil Eye by Bellah
This song isn’t about romance, but it encapsulates how I feel about romance. Protect me from that evil eye…I am not about that shit, do not come near me with it. - Ion Like Dat by Jane Handcock
An upbeat track, Jane is down if you wanna pleasure her (sexually…or not) but she’s not about it when niggas don’t want to put in the effort to actually have a relationship with her and respect her as a person. And I also don’t like dat, Jane. Niggas be out here thinkin that because I’m not into you romantically you can treat me any type of way. Ion like dat. - Fuck You by CeeLo Green
A throwback to 2010, this song of summers past is a butthurt feelings song with a bit of anti-eros kick. Some guy stole your girl cuz he was richer, so fuck both of you, I guess the love wasn’t real huh? And not that I subscribe to love.com, but it should take more than a coin or two to break up a partnership. So yeah, fuck you. - I’m Out by Ciara featuring Nicki Minaj
I feel like it’s pretty clear why this song is on here. Nicki Minaj is currently in disgrace, but she and Ciara were onto something with this track. A nigga not treatin you like they should, go out and continue being a baddie and let him regret not cherishing you. - Better Thangs by Ciara and Summer Walker
There are Better Thangs than romantic love and relationships. Brownies. Apple pie and vanilla ice cream (or butter pecan!). Fudge. Hot chocolate. Thai Iced Tea. Can you tell that I’ve got a sweet tooth….lol. - Na Wash by Becca featuring Patoranking
Switching up the vibe a little bit with a Ghana highlife and afrobeat fusion song by the queen, Becca. A lover promised you a bunch of shit and never came through? Heard that story before. Not worth it. People want to show that they all cuffed up on social media, but none of it is real. - Switch Up by Toni Romiti and Bigrod
This is a song about cheating. It sucks ass (being cheated on). Toni’s voice is golden though. - Japanese Denim by Daniel Caesar
By far one of my FAVORITE songs on here, I feel like this song is the pinnacle of aromantic-ness. This beautiful man literally wrote an ODE to denim. Does he get a fuck about love? No, not in this song (ignore Best Part with H.E.R. great song, but in the Japanese Denim universe, Mr. Caesar here is aromantic coded). He won’t stand in line for clubs, but he’d wait FOREVER FOR SOME BLUE JEANS. There is NO ONE above…NO ONE. These jeans helped him reach NIRVANA. He is ready to spend all of his life with these jeans…imagine loving something so much, that gives you so much joy, you want to spend the rest of your life with it. Do I feel that way about people? Hell no. Does Daniel Caesar feel that way about Japanese Denim? Apparently so. I can listen to this song on repeat for hoursssssss. I will be the reason that it’s still relevant 20 years from now. - Gramercy Park by Alicia Keys
This is an introspective kind of song. Alicia is like, do you see me? As a real whole person? Because I’ve been trying to become who you want me to be, and now you’re falling in love with a person that’s not even me. As a person currently in a mixed allo/aromantic relationship, I feel this pretty hard. Because even though the words have been said, like, the kinds of feelings you have for me aren’t the kinds of feelings I can ever have for you, there’s still this implicit desire from my partner for me to love them. And I’m caught between at least “acting” like I can do that for them and being my romance-repulsed aroflux self. Ah, it’s messy.
Anyway, thanks for coming along on this journey with me 🙂 My anti-valentine’s playlist is on spotify, and I would love to hear your thoughts (or song suggestions!). However you spend the day, protect your peace bbs.
idk just words yameen 